The Trust—Control Dynamic

The Trust—Control Dynamic

Many of us have trust issues and are control freaks. Have you ever thought about the connection or dynamic between control and trust? Or more specifically, about how trust impacts our ability to let go of control? To be truthful, I hadn’t given...

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

image by Sara Hasse Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the...

5 Common Myths of Control Freaks

Most control freaks live a life filled with grand illusions and myths about the efficacy of control.  Here are five common myths that control freaks harbor:   Control Freaks Myth #1: The power to significantly change others. Truth: The only...

Control Freak Bosses Are Poor Managers

The compulsion to control at work can be so strong that we rarely stop to consider how much it harms us, our employees, and of course, our business. This is particularly true with respect to micro-managers, nit-pickers, and other control...

Let Go of Control to Gain Control of Your Children

Many parents are frustrated and distressed because they feel they have lost control over their children.  Things have just gotten too out of hand–for some, alarmingly so.  The natural inclination for such parents is to become more controlling in...

The Trust–Control Dynamic

Have you ever thought about the connection or dynamic between control and trust?   Or more specifically, about how trust impacts our ability to let go of control?  To be truthful, I hadn’t given it much thought until I read and successfully...

When Parents Fail to Surrender Control at School

School and education is particularly rife with parental control, whether it’s parents choosing their children’s classes, offering too much advice or help with homework, or constantly “coming to the rescue.” I have previously shared my strong...

Understanding Control Freak Dynamics

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go and on this blog I write about how to deal with control freaks (and excessive controllers) and what’s behind their often abusive behavior. Thomas J...

Over Controlling Parents–Harm Now Confirmed

New research from the University of New Hampshire confirms that authoritarian parents whose child-rearing style is summed up as “it’s my way or the highway” are more likely to raise disrespectful, delinquent children who do not see them as...

Is This Tiger Mom Out of Control?

  The December 24 Books section of the Wall Street Journal features an article by Amy Chua, aka Tiger Mom, in which Ms. Chua attempts to justify her domineering parenting techniques as she continues to back peddle from the widespread criticism...

Coaching, Sports–and Life: To Control or Not to Control?

Coach "coaching" In previous posts I have explained that when athletes try to control the game too much (using Kobe Bryant as an example), it not only adversely impacts their performance, but that of their teammates as well.   I have...