Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Q: What is wrong with trying to control the circumstances of our lives? A: It’s important to distinguish between those circumstances that are set or fixed and those that are not.

Truths and Tips #8: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #8: Letting Go of Control

Q:  Romantic relationships can be stressful, especially when we try to “improve” or change our partner’s behavior and habits.  How can accepting our loved one for who they are enhance our love bond? A: I don’t think any of us like being told by...

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can letting go of control allay some of the fear and anxiety associated with the current economic uncertainty brought about by Covid-19? A: The feeling of being powerless over our finances (and job prospects) can be extremely discomfiting...

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

          Q: Is it difficult to let go of control?  Where does one begin?  A:   Letting go of control can be extremely difficult because we have been raised with control; it is taught to us and all around us.  Our parents, bosses, teachers, and...

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

Q: How does our need to control stiffen life’s possibilities?  A:   When we focus too intently on trying to control or change people and things we are putting “blinders” on our selves, and literally can’t see the options and opportunities that...

Truths and Tips #4: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #4: Letting Go of Control

Q: What does a person gain when they relinquish control?  A: They gain greater vision and clarity—and ultimately greater serenity. Relinquishing control (or, as I sometimes say, losing control) frees life’s “natural currents” and allows us to...

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less?  (Part 2) A: Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips Q&A #2 emphasized the importance of identifying our fears as the first step in reducing or removing them. Once you have a clearer...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Truth and Tips Q&A #1 explained how fear was the prime driver of our need to control others and outcomes. Q&A #2 is a logical follow up: Q:How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part One)  A:  Effectively reducing our...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

The need to reign in our unhealthy compulsion to control is thus more important than ever, whether we are a so-called “control freak,” a micro-manager, a nitpicker, or simply someone who controls excessively. Toward that end, I will be sharing...

Avoiding Avoidance

Avoiding Avoidance

                         Many of us have little inkling about how much, how often, and in what ways we try to control people and things around us—and how it harms us.  Controlling conduct is not always assertive or overt.   It is often subtle and...

Emerson and the Correlationship Between Control and Contentment

Emerson and the Correlationship Between Control and Contentment

As a prequel to the pages of Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go, I cited the following insightful words of Ralph Waldo Emerson from his essay, “Spiritual Laws,” published in 1841: “There is a...

How to Let Go of Holiday Stress and Anxiety

How to Let Go of Holiday Stress and Anxiety

The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people. We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught...