The Illusions of High Expectations

The Illusions of High Expectations

  When we expect too much of others, most often we are trying to change or control them in some manner.   And in doing so, by definition, we aren’t accepting them as they are. Simply put,“When you expect, you can’t accept.” The Illusions of...

My Personal Prayer for Acceptance

My Personal Prayer for Acceptance

 For eighteen years, the Serenity Prayer has been my personal prayer and acceptance guide. “God, Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Cannot Change,    Courage to Change the Things I Can, and    The Wisdom to Know the Difference.” The...

The Genesis of The Gifts of Acceptance

The Genesis of The Gifts of Acceptance

 The genesis of my book “The Gifts of Acceptance: Embracing People and Things as They Are” began with a short blog post I wrote almost 10 years ago titled “5 Good Reasons for Accepting People As They Are.”

Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Q: What is wrong with trying to control the circumstances of our lives? A: It’s important to distinguish between those circumstances that are set or fixed and those that are not.

Truths and Tips #8: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #8: Letting Go of Control

Q:  Romantic relationships can be stressful, especially when we try to “improve” or change our partner’s behavior and habits.  How can accepting our loved one for who they are enhance our love bond? A: I don’t think any of us like being told by...

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can letting go of control allay some of the fear and anxiety associated with the current economic uncertainty brought about by Covid-19? A: The feeling of being powerless over our finances (and job prospects) can be extremely discomfiting...

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

          Q: Is it difficult to let go of control?  Where does one begin?  A:   Letting go of control can be extremely difficult because we have been raised with control; it is taught to us and all around us.  Our parents, bosses, teachers, and...

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

Q: How does our need to control stiffen life’s possibilities?  A:   When we focus too intently on trying to control or change people and things we are putting “blinders” on our selves, and literally can’t see the options and opportunities that...

Truths and Tips #4: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #4: Letting Go of Control

Q: What does a person gain when they relinquish control?  A: They gain greater vision and clarity—and ultimately greater serenity. Relinquishing control (or, as I sometimes say, losing control) frees life’s “natural currents” and allows us to...

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less?  (Part 2) A: Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips Q&A #2 emphasized the importance of identifying our fears as the first step in reducing or removing them. Once you have a clearer...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Truth and Tips Q&A #1 explained how fear was the prime driver of our need to control others and outcomes. Q&A #2 is a logical follow up: Q:How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part One)  A:  Effectively reducing our...

Managing Expectations in The Time of Coronavirus

Managing Expectations in The Time of Coronavirus

         (4th in an ongoing series on Acceptance in The Time of Coronavirus) I’ve often talked and written about the importance of moderating our expectations if we wish to control less and accept more.  High expectations can hurt us in a lot of...