10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

image by Sara Hasse Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the...

5 Ways High Expectations Hurt You

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I explain how high expectations are a driving force behind our need to control our loved ones, children, friends and others. High expectations of others pressure them to do and be what we want, or what we feel...

Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control...

5 Keys to Practicing “Acceptance”

An underlying theme of my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity, is that acceptance is fundamental to reducing our need to control. Readers agree. The most highlighted sentence of Amazon’s best selling eBook version is: “The more we accept...

Letting Go of Denial

Denial is usually associated with rejecting or denying a certain state of affairs, or thinking or believing that things “aren’t so.” However, denial really encompasses much more than that; wishful thinking, turning a blind eye, and withdrawal...

The Blessings of Acceptance

There is an integral relationship between accepting life and people as they are, and enjoying a life with greater serenity.   Acceptance leads to new choices, discoveries and possibilities—many unexpected—as well as reduced stress, worry, and...

Should You Accept the “Unacceptable?”

PART ONE  In speaking with people about their acceptance stories for the new book I’m writing, The Blessings of Acceptance, I am often asked “why should I accept the unacceptable?”  My short response is, “You’ve already answered that by your...

5 Common Myths of Control Freaks

Most control freaks live a life filled with grand illusions and myths about the efficacy of control.  Here are five common myths that control freaks harbor:   Control Freaks Myth #1: The power to significantly change others. Truth: The only...

Three Key Ways Letting Go of Control Improves Your Life

When we control excessively we are attempting to alter life’s moving currents and rhythm. When we do this, we are unable to see options and make choices that would significantly our lives emotionally, spiritually, creatively, and financially. We...

Let Go of Control to Gain Control of Your Children

Many parents are frustrated and distressed because they feel they have lost control over their children.  Things have just gotten too out of hand–for some, alarmingly so.  The natural inclination for such parents is to become more controlling in...

Should You Tell Your Loved One About Your Past Addiction?

  Guest Post by Anne Southern Over 20 million Americans struggle with some form of substance addiction, whether to drugs or alcohol (this does not include the many million more who are also addicted to tobacco) Despite this huge body of people...

Do Your Loved One’s Political Views Anger You?

The current divisive political climate becomes even more divisive when the political choices of our loved ones are contrary to our own.   For example, what if you are for Clinton, and they are for Trump?  If you are for gun control, and they...