Avoiding Avoidance
Many of us have little inkling about how much, how often, and in what ways we try to control people and things around us—and how it harms us. Controlling conduct is not always assertive or overt. It is often subtle and...
Many of us have little inkling about how much, how often, and in what ways we try to control people and things around us—and how it harms us. Controlling conduct is not always assertive or overt. It is often subtle and...
The Serenity Prayer* is my guide to practicing acceptance in all my affairs. It is a prayer for acceptance that allows me to be more fully aware, from the very start of my day, of the vast number of things I cannot control or change, and it...
In media interviews for The Gifts of Acceptance I am often asked, “what are the keys to practicing acceptance?” When I say “humility” is an important key, some interviewers ask me to explain further because the link between humility and...
My father, Morry Miller, was only 21 years old when this Air Force photo of him was taken. During World War II he captained over 35 missions in the dangerous South Pacific with the famous (and infamous) heavy, unsafe B-24 bomber that was...
We’re taught to honor our mother and father. But what if they weren’t exactly a model of calm maternal and paternal caring, strength, and guidance during your childhood. What if they still criticize and demean you, infuriate you, or simply...
Do you have trouble accepting annoying people in your life? If you are like others I have spoken to on the matter, your thoughts on the subject might be similar to theirs: Why should I accept . . . My sister’s condescending behavior? My mother’s...
As a prequel to the pages of Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go, I cited the following insightful words of Ralph Waldo Emerson from his essay, “Spiritual Laws,” published in 1841: “There is a...
I have learned that acceptance conversations can be true peacemakers that bridge the current political and social divides. Since the publication of The Gifts of Acceptance (recently awarded “Top 10 Wellness Books of 2018” by Library...
There are formidable challenges to accepting people and things as they are. In the Gifts of Acceptance: Embracing People and Things as They Are I explore in depth how to overcome the main obstacles to practicing acceptance. As part of my...
Some people–maybe even you–upon reading the title of this post might immediately retort something like, “Gifts? What do you mean mean gifts? My child’s addiction has been nothing but a horrendous burden for us.” I...
In a previous post, The Link between Addiction and Control, I considered whether a pertinent connection exists between addiction and control. I hypothesized that because the internal lives of most addicts are so out of control, they attempt to...
Overcoming denial is a prerequisite to acceptance. You can’t accept “what is” when you are in denial, because you are unaware of or can’t “see”the underlying reality of the situation or person. Simply put, you...