Easy Tips for Letting Go of Control

Do you realize that you should be letting go of control, say with your children or partner, or at work, but find it real hard to do? If so, asking yourself these basic, but very effective, decontrol questions will make it much easier: “How...

Are Control Freaks Healthy?

“Are Alpha Males Healthy?” is the lead article in the Personal Journal section of the September 13 Wall Street Journal.    Alphas are “ambitious, assertive, confident and competitive,” says psychiatrist T.Byram Karasu in the article—all...

Three Key Ways to Improve Your Close Relationships

In these frantic, unpredictable and financially volatile times, the need for close, supportive bonds with family, friends and loved ones becomes more important than ever.    It provides us with a much needed emotional anchor. Ironically, the...

Writing Love Poems by Letting Go of Control

For me, composing poems encompasses letting go of control, particularly in the sense of not overthinking and overanalyzing them. I begin with my intention and then jot down words and phrases that evoke that intention, not really concerning...

Work Control: Five Ways It Harms You and How to Avoid It

The workplace is where humanity’s primal drive for sustenance and survival is most prominently played out.   As such, it is a hotbed for costly control practices.  Some graciously refer to the compulsion to control at work as just “trying to get...

Losing Control, Finding Flow

We often hear people talk about “going with the flow” when discussing  how they intend to deal with important issues and challenges in their lives.   I think for most, that means they wish to engage matters as they naturally arise, without...

Let Go of Control and Be Happy!

Many of my posts explore the remarkable and often unexpected benefits that come to us when we are able to let go of control–even partially– in such vital areas of our lives as parenting, intimate relations, family and friends, at work...

Letting Go of Love Fears

Letting go of the pain and sorrow from breaking up with loved ones is difficult for most people.   Not only do we grieve our loss, but we also find ourselves shackled by our fears and unable to move on with our lives. One young man (I’ll call him...

Gain Control by Losing Control

Most people think they need to control people and events in order to get what they want, or think they want. This is quite understandable when you consider the fact that from the time we were young children we have been immersed in a control...

Let Go of Your Blinders

The intensity of our controlling actions impairs our vision.   It puts “blinders” on us and we are unable to recognize the opportunities and make the choices that would improve our lives emotionally, spiritually, creatively, and financially. The...

Decontrol Your Life: Thriving and Prospering with Freedom and Contentment

I am honored to have been selected as the keynote speaker at the prestigious Inside Edge Foundation for Education on Wednesday, May 11 at the Faculty University Club of the University of California, Irvine. My speech is entitled “Decontrol...

Letting Go of Control Resonates with People

I am very pleased that the central theme of my book (Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go) about the importance (and benefits) of letting go of  excessive control in our lives is resonating with...