Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #9: Letting Go of Control

Q: What is wrong with trying to control the circumstances of our lives? A: It’s important to distinguish between those circumstances that are set or fixed and those that are not.  There is a broad range of events and circumstances that we cannot...

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can letting go of control allay some of the fear and anxiety associated with the current economic uncertainty brought about by Covid-19?  A: The feeling of being powerless over our finances (and job prospects) can be extremely...

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

          Q: Is it difficult to let go of control?  Where does one begin?  A:   Letting go of control can be extremely difficult because we have been raised with control; it is taught to us and all around us.  Our parents, bosses, teachers, and...

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less?  (Part 2) A: Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips Q&A #2 emphasized the importance of identifying our fears as the first step in reducing or removing them. Once you have a clearer...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Truth and Tips Q&A #1 explained how fear was the prime driver of our need to control others and outcomes. Q&A #2 is a logical follow up: Q:How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part One)  A:  Effectively reducing our...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

The need to reign in our unhealthy compulsion to control is thus more important than ever, whether we are a so-called “control freak,” a micro-manager, a nitpicker, or simply someone who controls excessively. Toward that end, I will be sharing...

Emerson and the Correlationship Between Control and Contentment

Emerson and the Correlationship Between Control and Contentment

As a prequel to the pages of Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go, I cited the following insightful words of Ralph Waldo Emerson from his essay, “Spiritual Laws,” published in 1841: “There is a...

The Link Between Addiction and Control

The Link Between Addiction and Control

The lives of addicts often reel out of control, especially for those who have not started down the path to personal recovery. Many feel ashamed and powerless over their addiction and many things in their lives. To counter their anxiety and...

The Control—Misery Link

The Control—Misery Link

Control freaks beware—those controlling tendencies can create misery in your life. A friend recently shared, “The more I try to control things in my life, the more miserable I become.  In fact, the misery in my life is directly proportional to...

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the subtitle of my book Losing...

Control and Impermanence

Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control...

Let Go of Control to Gain Control of Your Children

Let Go of Control to Gain Control of Your Children

Many parents are frustrated and distressed because they feel they have lost control over their children.  Things have just gotten too out of hand–for some, alarmingly so.  The natural inclination for such parents is to become more controlling in...